Kickin it at the Rodeo

Last night we went to the Pasadena Rodeo to hear my brother and his band (County Road 101). They had a great turn out and they sounded FANTASTIC! It was a lot of fun!


It was also good for me to get out and feel a bit "normal" for a while....even with all the stares and comments!





Only three weeks left of prep....I'm starting to get a bit nervous that I won't be ready in time. But I'm just going to keep with it, knowing that I will end up wherever I end up.


My energy levels have been way down and my body has been aching and hurting. I'm just taking it one day at a time....one cardio session at a time...til I finally reach my destination. Slowly, but surely, I'm getting there!

And The Tough Get Tougher!

I'm struggling with constant hunger pains every day now. In a way, I'm getting used to it! But I can't wait to finally be able to eat some yummy food and actually feel full and satisfied!
I find myself thinking and daydreaming about food a lot and have even started a list of foods I plan to eat that first week! I will continue to add to my list until my competition!


http://after-partyfoodwishlist.blogspot.com/

My body is getting a bit run down and aches a lot from all the cardio, which makes it harder to do the long sessions (60 minutes in the mornings and 50 minutes in the evenings). But I push myself through it, knowing that 4 weeks from today I will be finished with cardio! I just stay focused on one day at a time...getting through just that one day. With each day conquered, I am one day closer to my rest...closer to my goal...and closer to FOOD!

This training has pushed me to limits I have never been before. I can honestly say that I have become stronger in spirit, willpower, and discipline through it all. Without a doubt, I will finish....and finish on top!

Enjoying The Ride

For the past week I have been focused on my training and all has been good. I'm now just enjoying the ride! I have finally stopped stressing about my competition and have just let go. I have worked hard (for several years) building what I have. And now for the past 3 months, I have been doing grueling work unveiling it all! But I'm almost to my destination and the end is finally in sight...just 5 more weeks to go!

It's so thrilling and empowering to have made it this far (knowing that many can not endure this extreme training and dieting) and know that I'm almost to the finish line. Win or lose on stage...making it to that point is a victory! So now all that's left to do is finish unveiling the product of my sweat, tears, and sacrifice and showcase it all on stage next month!

Feeling Good

These past few days I have been feeling MUCH better. My last set of progress pics showed a lot of progress and we were all pleased with them. My coach didn't change anything in my diet or cardio, but said that at my next 5 day progress check (which will be on Tuesday) my diet will probably change a bit by possibly adding another one or two low carb days.


Tonight my husband and I will be going to meet the lady who is making my posing suit. Her name is Jodie (Fit N Flashy is the name of her business) and she is also competing at the NPC Texas State. We will be picking out the style, color, and fabric, along with getting my measurements. She already picked up a royal blue, crushed velvet material. She said when she saw it, she thought of me. I'm sure it will be perfect!

My body continues to make changes daily, which is exciting and encouraging! I'm getting to where I really don't even recognize my own body anymore...it has changed so much! I'm noticing more veins coming to the surface as well, which of course is a good sign. The ones in my pecs/chest are becoming more and more visible and am now starting to see some coming up on my quads.

Sacrifices

I had another rough couple of days.
I started dragging on Saturday and I hit bottom on Monday. It was so difficult to just think clearly that day, not to mention accomplish my workouts and attend a family function. Of course as you might have guessed, the family function had lots of yummy food and tons of even yummier dessert! It was very rough on me....with just my chicken breast and oatmeal, especially the way I felt on Monday. After leaving the function, I had to battle so much added frustration and once again the overwhelming feeling of wanting to quit this contest prep in order to feel "normal" again.

My experiences that day have taught me that I need to protect myself better. I have decided not to attend any more get-togethers or family functions (especially the ones centered around food) until after my competition. It's just too much for me to deal with, especially if it happens to be on a "low" day (and you never know when those are going to hit you).
I don't expect my family and friends to understand and, frankly, I'm not asking them to. I'm only asking that they respect my decision because it is what's best for me at this point. Preparing for this competition is the hardest thing I have ever done and in order for me to succeed, I have to stay focused, with as little distraction as possible.

On The Other Side

I've made it through the valley!

Man! This past week and a half or so has been tough (emotionally, mentally, and physically)! But I've made it through to the other side and I'm feeling good! I'm doing much better and going strong once again!
My diet has been slightly changed to include a high carb day in the rotation. Of course, my diet is subject to change on a daily basis depending on my body and progress. I am due for my next set of progress pics on Saturday morning. We will then see what kind of changes will be in store for me next. I have just 8 short weeks left before it's time to step on stage.

Overwhelming Frustration

After taking my progress pics on Saturday morning, my coach decided that it was time for a cheat meal. He agreed that my muscles were indeed flat and it was time to try to "fill them back up".

So for meal #5 I finally got to eat that pizza and chocolate I've been craving for several weeks!

I enjoyed it very much....even though I did feel a bit guilty eating all those bad calories. He also added 50 grams of carbs to meal #6...which was a big bowl of yummy oatmeal!
I actually had to force that down since I was still stuffed from my pizza and brownies!

I noticed no changes on Sunday, which has brought on
A LOT of frustration. I feel like I've hit a brick wall and I'm quite pissed off with the lack of progress. My coach is telling me that my feelings are normal for this stage in the game, but that doesn't comfort me at this point. He continues to stress that there have been changes and my progress is going good, but I'm just not feeling it. These feelings have actually started to consume me and I have this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'm battling with wanting to throw in the towel. I miss the focus being on building muscle and strength! THAT is what I love! Not this dieting myself to misery and tons of cardio...all to constantly manipulate my body for this reason or that! I'm left wondering.....Why am I doing this? Why am I putting myself through all this? Is this really worth it?

My diet has been adjusted for Monday...it will be a very high carb day. He is hoping that will finally fill the muscles back up and I'm sure he is also hoping it will encourage me to stick with it, since I have voiced my feelings of frustration and wanting to quit. At this point, I'm really not convinced that having a positive sign will out-weigh the negatives that I know are still ahead.